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Looking For Love | Why Second Dates Are Better Than The First
Looking for love can be a magical journey but it can also be downright scary. See yourself in this scenario (which isn’t too far away from reality for some men): You go out on a first date with this amazing woman. You had a wonderful time together but somehow you’re not convinced that you did enough to impress her. Then, days later, she calls to invite you out for another dinner. You said yes excitedly!
But — like any fairytale, there’s a pullback — at the recesses of your mind, you doubt if you deserve another shot at her heart. Maybe, maybe not. However, one thing’s for sure — second dates are always better than the firsts.
In this list, we explain why the second is “the real first date” and what this means for your happy ever after.
- The second date is your chance to take a breather and actually relax. You are done with “first impression” shenanigans at this point. You can now let go of all the dating ideas and tips running around your mind so you can be “the best date there is.
- The second date is the perfect time to show who you truly are. This is not to say that it is acceptable to act as someone else on any of your dates, but at this point, you can present to her the things that truly define you. Small talks and little introductions are out of the way, and your interests and skills are in the spotlight. And it might just impress her all the more with you.
- The second date is also your chance to get to know the other person more. It’s always a good sign when partners know when to share and when to listen. As much as you can flaunt your credentials, allow her to open up to you as well.
- The second date is a safe venue to be closer. It goes without saying that each other’s comfort and consent through everything must be established at all times. When we say closer, we mean in the physical sense, where you can be more intimate than just the goodbye peck from the first date; and in the emotional aspect, where it is acceptable to look into what might be the endgame of these dates, both good and bad.
- The second date will help you know what you really feel. Is she someone who has the same values in life? Does it bother you that there are aspects in her life she can’t let go for the sake of the relationship? This stage should basically clear up the hesitation in your mind, whether things should proceed to the next stage or just go back to the dating pool. And, of course, whatever it is you decide on, let her know.
She has already seen your quirks when under pressure, and the second date can only mean she’s fine with it, right? The goal of perfection and pressure shouldn’t hold you back now.
At this time, ask her meaningful questions, such as her goals and stand on various societal topics. Pro tip: Be direct and show genuine interest in the things she is passionate about.
Remember to express what it is that you are looking for in a relationship. You’ll never know, she might just want the same things.
After reading all that, do you think there’s nothing more you can do to salvage your first date mishaps or that second dates are just a repeat of the first one? Aim to get her yes for a second and that might just help you with your love life.